A Daughter’s Heart
Getting ready to head in to surgery (August 14, 2020)
The earth moves at 460 meters per second, or roughly 1,000 miles per hour. Most of my life, I’ve felt like I am moving at exactly that pace. There are always bills to pay, parties to plan, phone calls to return, texts to answer, work deadlines to meet, retirement planning to work on, weight to lose, shopping to do. When I remember, I try to pause, breathe, reset. Then there are moments when it’s forced on us. For me, those moments have included watching the love of my life walk down the aisle of a small town church to join me in marriage, the births of our daughters, the emergency surgery of a ruptured appendix with our oldest, the surgical repair of a faulty sternum with our youngest, the passing of my father, climbing above the fjords of Norway, the majesty of a sunrise over the North Carolina mountains, and the serenity of a sunset beyond the shores of the Amalfi Coast.
Today is another moment life has given me to stop and reflect. Our youngest daughter, Tiffanie, is 29 to the world, but to me, she is still a four year old in need of her daddy’s protection. Today she is having her heart repaired - a heart that cares deeply for the underprivileged, the oppressed, the care of our planet, equality, and the righting of injustices. But a heart that needs it’s own care today.
For now there is absolutely nothing I can do for her. Her life is in the hands of Dr Kevin Accola - an incredibly talented Cardiothoracic surgeon who has performed over 14,000 surgeries. His every move guided by the awesome and loving Creator of our universe. For the next five hours my phone doesn’t ring. I don’t care about my retirement fund or the extra 15 lbs I’ve picked up since I started working from home. I sit here in the CVICU waiting room at Advent Health asking myself, yet again, “what is really important?” I hold my breath and cling to the words Chris Tomlin sings through the AirPods in my ears - “Everything, You hold in your hand. Still, You make time for me. I can’t understand. I praise You, God of earth and sky. How beautiful is Your unfailing love.”
I know this is done every day. But not to my baby girl. For her, for her mother, her sister, for me, this is new. It’s fresh and raw and real. Tomorrow, the world will begin spinning at 1,000 miles per hour again. Today, it stands still.